Why is safety so crucial to us as humans? The answer lies in our evolutionary history. Thousands of years ago, when our ancestors were roaming the wild, safety was the difference between life and death. Our brains and bodies are designed to prioritise safety above all else. We're naturally drawn to environments and people that make us feel safe and secure. When we feel safe, we're more relaxed, open, and able to engage with the world around us. It's the foundation upon which we build trust, relationships, and personal growth.
Dr Stephen Porges introduced the term ‘neuroception’ to explain how the body’s brain and nervous system constantly survey the environment looking for signs of threat and signs of safety. You can think of this process being like a home security system that is constantly working in the background scanning the environment. Just like with a home security system, neuroception happens ‘behind the scenes’ without us being consciously aware of it.
Humans’ deep-seated need for safety is especially important when it comes to people recovering from traumatic and adverse experiences. Traumatic events and adverse experiences disrupt our sense of safety in a profound way. They can shake the foundation of trust we have in the world, and often, in ourselves. Traumatic experiences can make people perceive threats when there aren’t any and conversely, in some instances they can make people unaware of actual dangers.
The body’s ability to accurately scan the environment can be compromised by experiences of trauma.
When someone who has experienced trauma comes to counselling, establishing both physical and psychological safety is a top priority. Here are a few ways I build a sense of safety into my counselling practice:
1. Creating a Comfortable Environment: When a client walks into my office, they'll find a cozy, welcoming space. A comfortable and calm environment is an important part of making my clients feel safe. Soothing colours, comfortable seating, an offer of a cup of tea, coffee or cold drink all help to make clients feel welcome and secure.
2. Building Trust: I aim to be a reliable and consistent presence. I don't judge, I listen, and I respect peoples’ boundaries. Building trust takes time, but it's essential for a sense of safety.
3. Empowering Choice: I offer my clients choices whenever possible. Making decisions about their therapy, like the pace and the techniques used, provides people with a sense of control: an important part of feeling safe.
4. Education: I believe in empowering my clients with knowledge. For example, by explaining the science of neuroception and how it relates to their experiences, I help people understand why their brains might perceive threats in safe situations. And, importantly, I explain and show people how to go about resetting their nervous systems. Knowledge can be a powerful tool for healing.
5. Grounding Techniques: I teach grounding techniques to my clients. These exercises help people stay in (or return) to the present, which can counteract the heightened state of alertness that often accompanies trauma.
6. Slow and Steady Approach: Patience is key. We take our time to explore issues at a pace that feels comfortable for the client. It's not about rushing but about moving forward together. There’s a saying in trauma treatment, ‘slow down to get there faster’.
7. Validating Experiences: An important aspect of my work is validating my clients' experiences. Very often, my clients have been through a lot, and their feelings are real. Validation helps people feel understood and accepted.
By incorporating these elements into my counselling practice, I aim to create a safe and supportive environment where clients can begin their healing journey.
Please reach out if I can be of assistance to you.
Warmly,
Michelle
Counsellor & Trauma Therapist